The Power of a Silly Song

Posted on February 28, 2014

This week’s blog is contributed by a TOG team member and mom, Elizabeth Y.

In our house, we sing a very silly little song while our daughters (4 years and 21 months) brush their teeth before bed. We started when our oldest daughter got her first teeth and have continued since then. It’s an integral part of our bedtime routine and, by now, happens without conscious thought.

This simple little act means that a) the girls’ teeth get thoroughly brushed with a minimum of fuss (they have literally run into the bathroom when I’ve said “it’s time to brush teeth” before) and b) power struggles and emotional meltdowns related to bedtime are minimized. This silly little song is much more powerful than one would think. It is so much a part of our routine that it is, at this point, a ritual. Getting the girls ready for bed without it is as unthinkable as not brushing my own teeth before bed. 

But how can something so small be so effective? How are routines helpful for children? According to Dr. Laura Markham of Aha! Parenting, “routines give them a sense of security and help them develop self-discipline.” Routines create a structure in which the child knows some of what the future holds. By the very nature of growing older, a child’s life is constantly changing. Routines give a child a sense of what to expect and remove some of that fearful unknown that can be so prevalent in a child’s world.

Routines have benefits for parents as well. Even if they are as simple as always putting your shoes in the same spot, routines lessen some of the struggles that can frustrate both children and parents. If a child knows that his backpack goes on a special hook or that the morning routine goes breakfast-clothes-bathroom-school, the parent has to do less nagging, less scolding, and less repeating himself. All of those modes of communication cause exasperation and frustration, negatively affecting the parent-child relationship. Again in Dr. Markham’s words, “when our focus is on moving kids through the schedule to get them to bed, we miss out on opportunities to connect.”

What’s even more exciting is that the routines themselves can become opportunities to connect. By eliminating the stress of making sure your child does xyz, routines allow you as parent to relax into the task. And being there with your child fully, even if it’s just singing a silly song while your child brushes her teeth, is an incredible tool to strengthen your relationship on a daily basis.

How are routines helpful in your family’s life? Tell us about it on Facebook and Twitter @toolsofgrowth !