The Parenting World

Posted on September 3, 2018

“My kids know exactly how to push my buttons!”

“My son drove me crazy yesterday.”

“I’m going to throw one of them over the cliff if they don’t stop arguing.”

“I’m over the edge with this parenting thing.”

“I’ve had it with the two of you!”

Life is not always about celebrations. Our noisy, day-to-day parenting world is filled with challenges and plenty of emotion commotion. Our interactions with our children fill us with anger, test our patience, drown us in guilt, overwhelm us with doubt, cloud us with fear, and suck the life out of us with worry, turning us into mindless, reactive human beings. What if I told you this is not an accident. There is a higher purpose to this: It is that we may learn who we truly are (learn about ourselves and continue to grow) and that we can tap into our untapped inner resources to connect with ourselves by knowing our home. Only then can we can go from mindless parenting to mindful parenting. And we can raise extraordinary children that are connected with themselves and the world around them.

I’m not talking about children who have incredible physical skills or who attain good grades or a wealth of material things but children who understand who they are, are connected with themselves and hence have extraordinary self-management skills, and who know the true meaning of love, respect, self-worth, and self-confidence. These children become extraordinary human beings who do good for themselves and those around them.

For that to happen, we—the parents—must step up to the challenge and walk through some “negative” experiences with our children. We cannot ignore emotional chaos or sweep feelings under the rug. These experiences show us clearly how to use our Inner Core Intelligence. Just as doctors have to go through the challenges of medical school and a dancer needs to put in the grueling hours of practice to achieve their vision of success, it is imperative that parents face these challenges mindfully in order to grow their relationship with their kids. These “negative” experiences build strength in the parent-child connection. They are the droplets of water needed to nourish the seeds of intention that we have planted in the soil of communication. It is when we resist this growth that all hell breaks loose and we butt heads with our kids.

Our growth is very much tied to that of our children. If we don’t grow, they won’t grow either. When we have repetitive issues with our kids, it is because we are not willing to change our response to the issue—we are resisting growth. In essence, by challenging us, our children teach us more patience, tolerance, empathy, kindness, and compassion. By pushing us to grow, they make us better human beings, extracting hidden potentials that we didn’t know we had. For example, I have been a talkative person my entire life, but my children have taught me how to listen! They are our teachers just as much as we are theirs. Besides, we have no choice. We are not walking away from them. We may walk away from our spouse, parents, siblings, and friends but never from our kids.