Talking to Your Kids about September 11th

Posted on September 12, 2014

September 11th, 2014 marks the 13th anniversary of the World Trade Center & Pentagon attacks. For many young parents, their children were either very young or not yet born at the time of the attacks. However, it is still important to talk with our children about honoring this day–even if it is to just give context to snippets they hear from other sources.

The 9/11 Memorial website offers tips for talking to your children:

1. Actively listen to your children (including paying attention to whether they want to talk or not);
2. Let the child guide the conversation and use basic age-appropriate facts to answer any questions your child;
3. Be honest about not having all the answers and explore the topic together to engage your child.

Additionally, the memorial site stresses monitoring both your own emotions and tv/media sources during this time. It is okay to feel however you feel and in fact, dealing with your own difficult emotions “offers them a model in their own difficult conversations and will help engender a safe, trusting environment.”

If your child has specific concerns about an incident happening in the future, you can address the worry with information about how things have changed since 9/11 (for instance, stronger airport security). Additionally, you can talk about what your family emergency plan is, which gives your child both power and knowledge. This is a good tactic to take whenever a child learns of a traumatic or violent event. Simply knowing that, in an emergency, they are to stay at school until a trusted adult comes, can help alleviate any anxiety your child feels. PBS Parents has more tips on talking to your child about news events.

Dealing with difficult and confusing events is, unfortunately, a part of life that we cannot completely shield our children from. However, allowing them to discuss their fears and express their feelings helps them navigate through new and unfamiliar emotions. In this way, by being emotionally intelligent ourselves we can teach our children how be emotionally intelligent as well.

Photo by idovermani on Flickr