Some Food for Thought on Gossip!

Posted on July 27, 2012

This weekend I spent a lot of time sulking over damage done by a recent renter on a rental property. I told the agent (also my neighbor and friend) that it was hard to imagine how someone would not take care of others’ things as they would their own. In fact, I would take more care of others’ things than I would of my own!

I woke up this morning with a queasy stomach and burning eyes despite eight restful hours of sleep. I forced myself to go for a walk. Every couple of minutes, the thought of a refrigerator drawer broken or stain on the carpet would pop in my head and I would have a small gossip session with myself (in my head). I passed a few people (I think) that smiled at me. I don’t even know if I even said “Hi” or “Good Morning” as I usually would. Half way through my walk, I was inhaling deeply, and my walk turned into a slow jog. Five minutes later, I was running, smiling and greeting everyone I passed. I was finally in the zone and I felt it! The physical movement helped ground my emotional and mental anguish. 

As I slowed down and started to stretch, I felt lighter…better……much better, in fact. I started to realize that I had spent the weekend gossiping about the renters that I had never even met. Although most of the gossip was in my head (“can you believe this..or that..”), I was physically exhausted from it. I remembered a saying that my son had shared with me recently:

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” 

This inspired me to make a conscious decision and get past the unnecessary mind chatter. Yet, a part of me felt a little guilty of my behavior. I consoled myself by saying “Oh, they (renters) didn’t hear you. Don’t feel bad! Move on!”. However, my inner voice was quick to assist with a,” Yes, they didn’t hear you or get hurt by your behavior but how have you hurt yourself?”. WOW! I had spent the whole weekend hurting myself. I had kept their deposit AND I wasted my weekend complaining and gossiping! 

As soon as I got home, I had a text from my son:

“Hi, Mom, how are you feeling this morning?”

My daughter had left me a voicemail wanting to make sure that I had gotten over it’.

My husband said, “You missed out on the movie. I had a great time with the kids.” I was too tired from the sulking to go with them.

It’s amazing how we hurt ourselves and those we love when we are negative. I should know better. I owned an Uncle that was constantly complaining. By the end of his life, he got really ill and his kids still did not want to be around him. We can all learn from that.

I want to spend my life with my kids by my side laughing, reminiscing and celebrating our time together. For this I must practice what I preach or I can never teach. Such is the role and responsibility of a parent. I know that.