Parenting Tips from Children?

Posted on April 25, 2016

In every single parenting talk or workshop, I say, “Your children will show you the way to communicate. Just listen and pay attention.”

Here’s a great story from a TOG fan that exemplifies that:

“My Vivaan is a very spirited boy. He wears his heart on his sleeve, but tends to have trouble listening to requests to wash hands for dinner, pee before leaving the house, get changed for school in the morning, and so on. He is always busy doing something and doesn’t want to interrupt his activity to do something I ask.

“My lack of patience at times has led to threats like, ‘If you don’t listen, I will take Doggie away (his favorite stuffed animal).’ Or, ‘If you don’t get changed now, I am leaving you up here and going down for breakfast because we are running late.’ Sometimes this works, and sometimes it doesn’t, but regardless, it almost always ends with him wailing.

“Lately, just as I’ve been about to threaten him, he’s said, ‘I need a hug first! or ‘I need a kiss first!’ When I give him a hug or kiss, he does just what he should be doing.

“Then I remembered the part in The ‘Perfect’ Parent about some kids responding well to touch, and I was intrigued.

“A few days ago, same scenario: I asked Vivaan to do something, and he wasn’t listening. I decided to try something. I said, ”Vivaan, forget changing your clothes. Can I get a hug instead?’ He looked up at me with a surprised look and said, ‘Sure!’ and came running over to hug me. ’Now can we change your clothes?’ I asked. And he said, ‘Ok!

“This has now worked for me every time I have tried it! We are all happier, and I no longer have to wrack my brains for creative threats!”

Sensible parenting—the most eye-opening tool in my book—is all about how we can use our senses to connect with our kids. What a great example to remind us to tune into them.

Thank you for this great share, Shofali! This is what mindful parenting is all about…paying attention to the cues that our children give us.