Brake for No-thing Breaks

Posted on June 29, 2015

It’s summertime! I’m sure you’re grateful to get out of the scheduled routine that school and life put kids—and their parents—through! And yet this week I’ve heard five moms say the same thing: “I am exhausted, and summer has just begun.”

It’s true, we now have to fill the open hours ourselves—with day camps, dance and swim classes, speed-reading classes, and all kinds of other activities. All of a sudden you realize that you are overcommitted. Sure it’s self-inflicted punishment, but there is not much you can do about it.

We all know what happens when we overcommit. Tempers flare up, and emotions overheat, making a mess. The last thing you want to do during a break is recreate the emotional flare-ups that used to happen before and after school and that can literally break up your break.

It’s time to put your no-thing brakes on. What does that mean?

1. For you:

Forget all excuses, and take a 15-minute break every single day to do nothing…and I mean no-thing!

Here’s what is not allowed: reading, watching TV, working out (not even yoga), using mobile devices, or surfing the web.

What is allowed: listening to soothing music, closing your eyes, just sitting, meditating, and taking a nap.

The idea is to shut the mind off. And the only way we can do that is by resting the physical body and disengaging our senses. When we do that, we also jump off our emotional roller-coaster, bring it into balance, and then shift it to feel-good cruise control.

If, for whatever reason, your busy mind is not shutting off, here’s a tool to help you: Take a deep breath or two, and with every breath, slowly say the words “no-thing” calmly—out loud or in your mind. Focus on the letters in the word in your mind’s eye while breathing slowly. After a couple of tries, you will notice that the word replaces your rush of thoughts and ushers in moments of silence. With a little practice, the thought-ticker of your mind will start tapping into longer spaces of silence.

When I first started doing this a couple of years ago, I noticed the shift immediately. Within a few weeks, I actually could slip into the silent space at will.

The benefits of doing no-thing for 15 minutes? It improves circulation, brings mental clarity, releases endorphins, and turns down emotions. You stay calm, cool, and refreshed, helping you be a better parent and enjoy the ride.

2. For the kids:

Encourage your children to do the same. No digital toys for them either. Nothing that keeps the brain engaged. Tell the kids that this is a “quiet-time to do no-thing.” This type of mindful parenting is the second-best gift you can give your kids, next only to good nutrition. Teaching them by example how to shut out and shut off is the absolute best habit that you can help your kids develop—one that will contribute to academic success, future work-life success, and personal success and will help calm their emotions, too.

And for those who have active children, putting a timer on for 15 minutes will help get the kids through the time more easily. You could even take your break at the same time. If the kids are little and cannot be left alone, let them lie down right beside you. They might fidget for a bit, but doing no-thing consistently will help them get in the habit as well. If your children are older, having them be in their own rooms is the most ideal.

The benefits? A no-thing break helps the kids understand and be with themselves, and it’s a great remedy for “I’m bored.” It also improves focus and calms emotions—boosting endorphins and the immune system.

For all of us, it’s interesting how the benefits of doing no-thing for 15 minutes far surpasses the benefits of being busy all day long.