Because I said so…

Posted on August 3, 2012

I was at a restaurant the other day when a 10-year-old boy, sitting at a table behind us asked,

“Mom, I want the Oysters Rockefeller.” 

“OYSTERS?” asked his Mom. “You don’t even know what they taste like.”

“I know,” he replied, “that’s why I want to order them.”

“Pick something else on the menu, Mikey,” coaxed his Mom.

“But I want to try them,” said Mikey.

“No, Mikey. Try something else,” replied the Mom.

“But why, Mom?” asked Mikey.

“Because I said so!” declared Mom.

“But why?” Mikey pushed the bar a bit.

“Because they’re not good for you,” said Mom… clearly just for the sake of responding.

“Fine, then I’ll have the fish and chips from the kids’ menu,” frowned Mikey.

He excused himself and headed to the restroom. Mom said to Dad, “I can’t believe he would pick oysters!”

Dad giggled and added, “I’m sure its because its the most expensive thing on the menu.” They both chuckled.

Five minutes later, Mikey returned, sat on his seat, and while reading from his phone, said: 

“Mom, did you know that oysters have high levels of Omega Fatties and a mineral called Zinc that can keep your mojo flowing? They’re actually really good for you. I Googled it.”

Now, I don’t know if the ten year old knew what “mojo flowing” meant but he sure was right about the ‘omega fatties’ and Zinc! 

Back in my day, if my Mom said, “because I said so” or just made up a “because they’re not good for you,” I would have no way of contesting it unless I had her drive me to a library so that I could look it up in a Medical Journal which was highly unlikely at age 10! Our brains just didn’t function like that! 

So here are two facts to consider before you say “because I said so” to your kids:

1. Living in the era of technology, kids today have a wealth of information at their fingertips. They can get their every why, when, and how answered in a matter of seconds!

2. This has developed and refined their sense of reasoning so that old-fashioned responses like “I said so” are outdated! These answers simply will not satisfy kids’ curiosity.

Yes, that challenges us to keep up with the kids and the truth is we will not have the answers to everything. However, being honest is key. Reasoning can only be satisfied through understanding. And HONESTY is the cornerstone of understanding. If we are not honest with our kids, they will not understand WHY we don’t want them to do a certain thing. If they don’t understand WHY, they will either Google it, ask a peer, or do it anyway. We know that the world is their oyster, as Shakespeare said. Our job, as parents, is to help them find the pearl in this world through honest reasoning and understanding.