ADHD – Are We Too Quick to Medicate?

Posted on December 29, 2014

(Guest Post by Carolyn West, This Talk Ain’t Cheap)

I’d like to preface this by saying this was OUR experience only. I am not advocating for or against medications, just sharing what worked for my family. Tools of Growth is simply presenting one view on the subject matter.

In October, the New York Times posted an article titled, A Natural Fix for A.D.H.D., by Richard A. Friedman. The article opened with this statement:

ATTENTION deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is now the most prevalent psychiatric illness of young people in America, affecting 11 percent of them at some point between the ages of 4 and 17. The rates of both diagnosis and treatment have increased so much in the past decade that you may wonder whether something that affects so many people can really be a disease.

We all are aware that children today face so many difficult issues and are much more technologically advanced that we were at their age. Despite all this, do they really have more issues and problems than we did? We all had stressful family situations and school environments. We all had homework and divorce and bullying in our lives. We might not have had an iPhone or an X-Box, but we had television and record players and video arcades to fill up our days. So why, then, are we seeing such an influx of children being treated for ADHD?

THE PROBLEM

I can only speak for myself and the families I know personally, but I don’t know many kids who don’t have some of the traits familiar with ADHD. Easily losing things, being distracted, unable to sit still for long, fidgeting, unable to wait your turn, restless, not listening. Do ANY of these pertain to you or your children? I’m pretty sure ALL of them pertain to me and my kids.

We were mostly concerned with our middle daughter, starting in the 5th grade. She wasn’t listening, she seemed bored, she procrastinated like crazy on everything she had to do. She would finally finish her homework only to lose it between leaving home and walking into school (and I drove her to school so tell me how THAT happens?). She also developed “ticks”, usually associated with Tourette’s Syndrome, that we were very worried about. We fought a lot about her lack of interest and I had constant discussions with her teacher about her lack of focus at school. She is a sweet girl, everyone loves her. She just wasn’t functioning the way we expected her to function. She wasn’t responsible like her older sister. What on earth was wrong with her?

Months of stress on both our parts led us to an amazing child neurologist. The panic that set in when I thought she might have something seriously wrong was weighing heavily on me. I needed to know. After a thorough neurological work-up (tests and more tests), the diagnosis was that she was perfectly fine, just had a touch of ADHD. Phew! That’s good, right?

THE TREATMENT

Now that we had a diagnosis, what were we going to do about it. We had a long discussion with the doctor – including my daughter  – about treatments. What surprised me the most was that this very well-known and well-respected neurologist told us that he didn’t want us to do ANYTHING about it! WHAT???? Do nothing? But, but, but….

He explained that while she did have trouble focusing and getting her work done and she did have ticks and fidgeting problems, he didn’t want to put her on medication unless it was severely interfering with her day-to-day life. He wanted it to be HER decision if she was going to be medicated. To him, she was experiencing normal and average behavior for a 10 year old girl. (ADHD is more common in boys, however.) It was the rest of the adults that couldn’t cope with it. It was ME who thought she was damaged. In reality, she was PERFECT. She IS Perfect! Her brain was just wired a little differently.

My daughter is super smart. She has always ranked advanced on her standardized tests. She is a math whiz and can compute complicated equations that would stump many college students. She also fails a lot of these tests because she can’t focus on any one thing for very long. She seems to procrastinate but the truth is that she has trouble getting started and never does her projects or book reports until the night before they are due. It is one of the things that frustrates me to no end. But once she starts, she gets them done and she doesn’t “phone it in”. She does quality work and gets mostly A’s on those projects.

We’ve learned to let her do things on her own time and in her own way. It isn’t easy, but once we let her just BE HERSELF, we’ve reduced the stress, the fights, and the drama that we’ve been dealing with for years. This attitude (or shift on our part) truly has helped her progress, grow and succeed. Whereas her sisters come home from school and sit right down to do their homework, my middle daughter NEEDS to wind down from the day by watching TV or playing Minecraft or sitting outside and just thinking. And once we let her determine her own way of doing things, her ticks and fidgeting disappeared (most likely anxiety driven). Her outbursts are almost non-existent. She is happier. WE are happier.

Are there kids who desperately need medication to function? YES, of course. Are many kids really just wired a little differently and need some space to find their own way of dealing with life? I absolutely believe so.

We are NOT our kids. Our kids are NOT us. We love them and care for them and protect them, but we need to be observant and mindful enough to know that they are going to need to find their own way in the world. Let’s not hold them back by holding them to OUR way of doing things. Let’s give them wings and let them fly on their own.

If you have experienced ADHD or ADD in your own family, we would love for you to share what your experience with us.