Motherly Love – A Healing Journey
Posted on May 12, 2019
It was just 48 hours before my daughter’s bridal shower, and I was unable to walk straight. Severe back pain had brought the madness of wedding prep to a screeching halt. I had been playing Mother of the Bride with patience, dedication, and pride for the last six months, and my daughter and I had literally worked 16 hours a day, juggling our day jobs and wedding planning, to put together a week-long traditional Indian wedding
It had been fun and work intertwined, and we were definitely in the homestretch. But now, 48 hours before the first event, I couldn’t even get out of bed. I sent an SOS to a dear friend—a renowned neurologist—and after a visit to her office, I ended up with a cocktail of meds that got me through the bridal shower. I couldn’t wear the dress or the shoes I had planned on, but I put on a good face and made it through the day.
I’m a pretty upbeat and optimistic person—after all, I teach self-empowerment—so I was hoping that within the promised 72 hours, I would be healed. But as the muscle pain eased, nerve pain acted up. Then came an MRI and more meds. By now, I had been in pain for an entire week with no relief in sight, and the wedding was just 30 days away.
My kids stopped by every day to check in on me. They brought little “love” gifts and sent me cute texts to help me heal. I could feel everyone’s concern, even though no one voiced it. What-ifs vibrated throughout the house, even as the family tried to lift me up through this—hopefully—small setback.
On Saturday morning, still limping, with a thousand errands on my mind and realizing that I could probably only accomplish two or three, my positive attitude vanished into thin air. I’m sure the meds had a lot to do with this, but I could see myself entering a dark cloud of fear: What if I don’t get better? What if I need surgery? I had already canceled one dance practice. (My husband and I were going to surprise my daughter with a Bollywood dance.) What if I couldn’t dance at this long-awaited wedding? What if I couldn’t walk?
My fear was taking over! I buried my face in my pillow and started bawling. My amazing husband, my life partner—who is not at all used to me crying—came running to comfort me. He had spent three sleepless nights by my side, helping me to turn over and get out of bed and to the bathroom in the middle of the night. He soothed me, brought me a cup of tea, toast, and meds, and we watched two episodes of Game of Thrones until the medications kicked in.
Enlisting my husband as driver, I insisted we knock off at least a couple of errands while the meds were at their peak. On our way home, Reeta, one of my dearest friends, called to check on me. Though she lived two hours away, she said she and her husband were coming over to visit me. I tried to talk them out of it, but they wouldn’t hear of it, and, honestly, I knew it would be a help. They walked in with the most beautiful flowers, and over the next two hours, Reeta shared some specific acupressure techniques for back pain, did an energy cleansing, and sent me a Louise Hay guided meditation called “Assisting in Your Own Healing”. She also cracked jokes and made me laugh a lot.
The next morning, I started to put it all into practice. The guided meditation had me reflect on when this dis-ease had started and what the contributing emotional factors might be. (That is a whole separate post.) Within three hours, the nerve pain eased. And over the next 48 hours, as I continued to follow the guidance, I was off the meds and 50 percent better. Two weeks in, I’m fully healed and wedding ready!
As Mother’s Day approaches, I can’t help but share how grateful I am that mother-nurture showed up in so many ways in the last two weeks to lift me up when I was down. Mother nurture is in each of us and is not just passed on from our biological mothers. If we look around, we find it everywhere! It was in my husband’s nightly support; my neurologist friend’s texting to ask how I was doing; my son’s bringing me avocado sushi; my daughter’s stopping by every day; my friend and helper Elvia’s working extra hours to help me change and shower; my sister, Simi’s, soothing chats and wedding-planning assistance; and, most importantly, my friend Reeta’s timely healing intervention. I was magically surrounded by motherly love that lifted me up and carried me through to healing. How grateful and blessed I am to have all of them in my life!
I’m also grateful that I was able to reconnect with Mother Earth during this time. Smelling the jasmine, feeling the cool breeze, and spending some time outdoors during my guided meditations have all supported my healing. Remembering that without Mother Earth I wouldn’t even exist was powerful and uplifting. Reminding myself that Mother Earth has supported my existence with oxygen-replenishing greenery, clean air, water, blue skies, and abundant California sunlight makes me bow my head with gratitude and pure joy!
As Rumi once said, “We are born of love. Love is our Mother.” This Mother’s Day, look around at your friends, family, and Mother Earth, and thank all of those who have offered you their motherly love and helped you through challenging times. Don’t forget to pat yourself on the back for those times when you offer your loving motherly nature of kindness, caring, and compassion to those who need it. Gratitude to self and others is a sure way to keep your love flowing. And what better day to practice this than on Mother’s Day?
Wishing you and your loved ones a very happy Mother’s Day.